Moving Day...for the BLOG!

As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, change is coming for Digging Deep and it has arrived.  Today is the day.

Unlike most physical moves that require physical labor, moving the blog has required mental labor (which I have found is also necessary in the former kind of move).

After a few years of blogging, I decided it was time to own a domain.

Although I am keeping Digging Deep as the blog name, it's address has changed.

Come here to make the move with me today.  Enjoy the new digs.  I cannot wait for you to see them!

Once you get to the new home for Digging Deep, you'll want to sign up fresh for email updates, RSS feeds, and/or becoming a follower.

Thank you for following along here.

I look forward to seeing you there!

Love,
Amy

First Days

A most important day in the lives of so many of you is today.  It almost slipped by me due to the season of life the Ward family is in.  Yet, I knew it was coming because as happens so often, I began to have the yearly craving for office and school supplies.

Yes, in our community, today is the first day of school for another year.

Most of you took those beloved first day pictures with your children sporting their new clothes and backpacks.  A return to bed times began last night and maybe even earlier in the week as you began to acclimate the children and yourself back into the early to bed, early to rise mode.

Some of you reading this are experiencing the first day of school for the first time as a parent and right now you are either sobbing over how quickly the time has come for this day or you are celebrating at Panera with friends over steaming cups of lattes and toasted bagels.

I was in the category of sobber and slobber; my sobs were the heaving kind.  Robert's 4K teacher, Mrs. Sparks, came out of the classroom to console me.  He was fine.  I was sad.  I needed a box of tissues.  David and I went to Dunkin' Donuts to get a cup to go and drove around listening to Dr. Dobson's broadcast that morning and sobbed some more as other mothers called in to the show and sobbed about their own first day of school experiences.

I gradually got past first day sadness and came to appreciate the value of a good education in my children's lives for their mental growth and my time to get things done at home.  Call me selfish.

It was their first days of school that toughened me up to see them drive out of the driveway solo at 16, to have the ability to pull out of the college dorm parking lot, and most recently, to watch the first son drive away with his new bride after their wedding.  Tears came in all these cases, but they were tears of "I can't believe this time has come already".  They were tears of reflecting on God's blessings to me as a mom raising these two boys.  They were/are good tears.

So, if you are in the slobber-sobber category, enjoy those tears!  They are cathartic.  Have yourself a good cry as you count God's blessings in your babies.  If you are rejoicing at Panera with friends, enjoy the laughter and reflections through stories of how you all spent your summer and remember to have patience with the criers in your midst.

Oh yeah, and don't forget to get that prime spot in the carpool line!

Room for Improvement

To all you readers:

Have you ever had a time in your life where you are just overwhelmed with questions?  Questions like:

• How much longer?
• What next?
• What am I supposed to do?  When?
• Where are You leading me?
• What is going on?
• For real?
• Huh?

You are not alone.

For much of the past year and a half, I think I have been walking around with a huge neon question mark over my head.  Fortunately, my hair has been short enough (and sometimes nonexistent) to not get in the way of the sign that said, "This girl's confused."

Well, I think that maybe I'm beginning to get some answers to some of the questions.
Much like the Brady Bunch episode where Peter sang the solo of the children's song, "Time to Change," I have come to realize that it's time for me to do some change with this blog.  Other words in that song are about rearranging, and that's my intent as well.

It's time to change and it's time to rearrange.  Here are some of the reasons why:

• time apart from consistent blogging has made me miss writing even when I had nothing to write/say
• I like living in an organized way and blogger is now making it possible for me to put up pages as category-type tabs (YEA!)
• one of the reasons for beginning this blog was to encourage women to live out the Word in their daily lives and I hoped to be a type of Titus 2 encourager to readers (see Titus 2:3-5).  I still feel called in that direction to all Christian women whether they are married or single
• I am in the midst a refining season in my life as the nest empties and new adventures cross our family path; I believe God is allowing all of this to be useful for my own personal growth and that it all could be useful in encouraging others who may be experiencing similar situations
• Finally, my sister suggested I consider doing something like this.  She's older than I am and I was raised to respect her advice.  (Smile).

So, stay tuned.  You'll begin to see tabs pop up with specific categories that you can click on based on what your subject preference is.

Just out of curiosity, what type of categories would you be interested in?  Did you notice that question mark?

Hug yourself!

Hard Times Come. Dance.

Dear Sigourney,

I'm back from vacation.  Sigh.  You know I love time away to rest, shop, read, try new recipes, and visit with your Aunt Louann.  We got your sweet note you left for us as we had our annual Sister Retreat.

We missed last year's retreat due to my chemo schedule and my lack of confidence in going solo driving that distance.  I was too tired to attempt it.  It was a hard time.

In looking back through some of the pictures of your wedding rehearsal, my favorite is of you and Robert dancing down the aisle during your recessional.  What a happy evening that was as it marked the days of preparation coming to an end and the beginning of your life together.  We were all so excited for you two!

Your big day has come and gone.  You've been married more than a month; it's been almost two months now.  You two have already had your share of some hard times. 

Between some health stuff for you and last week's robbery of your apartment, you have gone through some things that many veteran married couples never face.  Yet, here you two are facing it together.

A few months ago, Robert shared a song with me and I made sure it was on the iPod for the rehearsal dinner music.  It's Andrew Peterson's "Dancing in the Minefields".  I know it spoke to Robert about how his dad and I have managed through some crises this past year; first the cancer, then Rob's job loss.  It made me cry at the kitchen counter when I heard it.  Sometimes, the heaviness of what we've been through hits me later when things are better.

Well, now I give back this song to you and Robert.  Just as you danced on that happy eve, hold your head up and your hand in Robert's as you go dancing through your own minefields...together.

I love you,
Amy

It's Not Easy

Dear Sigourney,

Marriage is not easy. 

It takes
God in the center,
prayer,
love,
prayer,
work,
prayer,
commitment,
prayer,
unity,
prayer,
harmony,
prayer,
tears,
prayer,
laughter,
prayer,
time together,
prayer,
time apart,
prayer,
communication,
prayer,
protection from invasion,
prayer,
wise use of time,
prayer,
wise use of money,
prayer,
friends,
prayer,
family,
prayer,
church,
prayer,
working,
prayer,
resting,
prayer,
laziness,
prayer,
hard work,
prayer,
sharing the load,
prayer,
carrying the load,
prayer,
cooking,
prayer,
cleaning,
prayer,
laundry,
prayer,
creativity,
prayer,
resourcefulness,
prayer,
sickness,
prayer,
health,
prayer,
poverty,
prayer,
wealth,
prayer,
drawing aside,
prayer,
surrounding with others,
prayer,
sunscreen,
prayer,
trash days,
prayer,
monotany,
prayer,
spontaneity,
prayer,
Jesus at your dinner table,
prayer,
toilet paper,
prayer,
light bulbs,
prayer,
coupons,
prayer,

sticky notes,

prayer,
bugs,
prayer,
fly swatters,
prayer,
shoes,
prayer,
recipes,
prayer,
compliments,
prayer,
honesty,
prayer,
faithfulness,
prayer,
biting your tongue,
prayer,
encouragement,
prayer,
hope,
prayer,
two,
prayer,
love notes,
prayer,
flowers,
prayer,
back scratches,
prayer,
intimacy,
prayer,
your own language,
prayer,
understanding each other's look,
prayer,
knowing each other's thoughts,
prayer,
knowing the next word he'll utter,
prayer,
date night,
prayer,
picnic in the park,
prayer,
walking together,
prayer,
grocery lists,
prayer,
menues,
prayer,
saving up for gifts,
prayer,
silliness,
prayer,
seriousness,
prayer,
wrong words to songs,
prayer,
writing songs together,
prayer,
reading the same book,
prayer,
reading different books,
prayer,
writing your story,
prayer,
home,
prayer,

and then prayer. 

Love,
Amy

He Will Go Out on a Limb for You

Dear Sigourney,

As I type this on Sunday, your father-in-law is outside on a ladder with a small gas-powered saw cutting limbs from one of our favorite trees.  Its branches have bent too far to the right and we think the tree is in trouble because of it.  So, he's going to top it out and we will hope it thrives.

I contacted a professional who gave me advice.  I passed the advice on to Rob.  He is now taking the advice to heart and matters into his own hands.

The combination of all the parts of this latest adventure in the yard make me a bit nervous.  So, I decided to take a picture of him as he's about his work.  I did get his permission.  He did ask me to hold the ladder for him after I took the picture.  At that point, a necessary part of the equipment came off and we could not find the part that holds the blade in place.  He has ventured to our nearest home improvement store to secure a replacement part, and I'm quickly typing this during his absence.

He's already back and I will be going out to hold that ladder for him as if I could keep him from falling off, but I will feel better supporting him in his endeavor out on a limb.

This has caused me to think of the times Rob has been willing to go out on a limb in other ways for me:   to defend me, support me, encourage me, and say sweet things about me when I was right by his side or nowhere nearby depending upon the situation.

There have also been times when he went out on a limb to have a heart-to-heart talk with me when he probably would have preferred to just not address a sin issue that was rearing its ugly head in me.  He could have ignored it, but I needed the correction or advice.

He has been on a limb to apologize to me.

He was willing to go out on a limb and ask me to marry him and he promised to walk with me through the rest of my life not knowing what the future held, and we have had some difficult "future" that is now in the blessed past.  : )

So, that brings me back to you and Robert.  He's gone out on a limb to love you in sickness, health, poverty, and wealth for the rest of your life.

Somewhere along the way, he'll go out on a limb again and risk his pride or yours for your betterment as the two of you.  I know you'll be standing there supporting him on that ladder.

I love you,
Amy

P.S. - Those bending limbs have now been trimmed and we survived.

Be His Best Friend

Dear Sigourney,

Rather than write a post about this, I will share with you a link to Michael Hyatt's post today regarding being the best friend of your husband.  I agree with what he has to say and am excited to incorporate what he writes in my own relationship with Rob.

Click here to read what he has written.

Love,
Amy

The Lettermen Were Wrong

Dear Sigourney,

Wouldn't you know that after I posted yesterday about avoiding "Clyde" and "Earl", I succumbed and hurled a whopper to your paw-in-law last night?  Ugh.

Back in 1971, The Lettermen sang a song called, "Love Means (You Never Have to Say You're Sorry)".  Well, it's not true.  I had to say it last night after I made the snide remark to my own husband that he has an aversion to replacing the toilet paper on the roll holder in our bathroom.  It wasn't a quick spontaneous hurl, but a premeditated one.  I worked it into our pleasant after dinner conversation on my way out of the room.  Rude!  Poor guy.

Somehow, I believe in the garden (as in The Garden of Eden), "I'm sorry" has gotten choked by the weeds of pride and become a horribly difficult thing to say to one whom we have offended.  In marriage, on numerous occasions, you two will have opportunities to speak those words to each other.  Will you?  Will they be sincere?

Early in our marriage, I offended Rob.  I know that may come as a surprise to you, but having opened today's letter with the confession of last night's rude utterance, you now know I am capable of speaking harsh words.  Sigh.

Anyway, Rob told me I owed him an apology.  Well, that hurt.  It was true, but it hurt my pride nonetheless. 

So, I mustered up my courage and had almost swallowed my pride and said, "I'm sorry (downcast look, Eeyore voice).............(quick look up as I continued in Tigger fashion) YOU don't understand what I was saying."  No, I'm not kidding.  I really said something as immature and selfish as that. 

That is a lesson in how NOT to apologize.

I should have said sincerely, "I'm sorry.  I should not have been rude to you in my words.  Will you forgive me?" 

I'm sure he would have responded, "Why yes, wife of my youth, beloved soulmate, keeper of our home!  I forgive you!  I was a fool to be offended by your words of honesty toward me.  Nay, can YOU forgive ME!?"  Then, he would swing me up onto the saddle as we go galloping off into the ocean along the beach of Carmel. 

Oops, sorry, I was imagining a Harlequin romance novel.

I think you get my point even in all my nervous silliness over this touchy subject.

When we offend our husbands (and anyone else), we should seek their forgiveness in a sincere way because that is what Jesus teaches us to do.  He's our ultimate example in the how-to.

Love,
Amy

Avoid "Clyde" and "Earl"

This is just a stock photo.  : )

Dear Sigourney,

The winter of 1973 here in Columbus, GA was a memorable one.  I was in third grade.  We had a record snowstorm and its effects lingered for more than just that day.  The sweet memories still live on.  School was cancelled and life was grand as Steve, Louann, and I built snow forts and hid behind them throwing snowballs at one another.  We would hide and hurl.  We kept Mother busy as we would come in from the cold and she would toss our wet clothes in the dryer, prepare hot chocolate, and get us warmed up to venture out again for more  hiding and hurling snowballs.

Fast forward some years and picture me as a young bride, BC (before children).  Rob and I were blessed to attend a marriage conference that Dennis and Barbara Rainey led.  (They still do those weekends to remember.  Click on their names to learn more if you're interested).  We came away with much good instruction and encouragement that I believe has been a foundational blessing in our marriage.

One of those excellent topics they walked the group through was that of constructive arguing and the importance of not dredging up your spouse's past mistakes and throwing them back in his face as a weapon of mass destruction.  They called this tactic "hiding and hurling". 

Much like my memory of those fun snowball fights where we would prepare and stockpile our snowballs, hiding them from each other in order to hurl them at the proper time to "take them out" of the game, such is the case of hiding a stockpile of those things he has done or said in the past that you find a sure weapon to hurl back at him during an argument.

It could go down something like this.  "Remember when YOU said __________ to me?  Well, I do and you are so mean and....so on!"  Or, "I remember when you did __________.  That was the stupidest thing you have ever done!"

Hide it.  Hurl it.  Down the target goes.

I know this works.  I've been on both ends of the battle.

Now, you know Rob and I have a crazy sense of humor.  Shortly after we attended this marriage conference, one of us (probably me) forgot this topic we had just finished learning about and discussing together and out came the ammo in the midst of a more serious discussion (aka. argument) between the two of us.  We stopped, looked at each other, and chuckled as we realized what we were doing.  Hiding and hurling.

Amidst the chuckles we somehow came up with the phrase for hide and hurl we now refer to as "Clyde and Earl".  Sometimes, when we sense a tense moment of opportunity for "Clyde" or "Earl" to show up and fling their verbal snowballs at the other, we break the ice and remind ourselves that "Clyde" and "Earl" need not be flinging the dirt, snow, or nasty comment at the other and we move on.

So, now you know the story of "Clyde" and "Earl".  Avoid them.

I love you,
Amy

Contrary to TV Commercials Your Guy is not a Dweeb

The next few posts are letters of encouragement from me to Sigourney, my daughter-in-love and newest member of our family as of May 21.

Dear Sigourney,

You're a new bride.  I'm not.  But, I am still learning.  Your marriage to Robert a few days ago has caused me to reflect on my time as a wife and refresh my own marriage vows to your father-in-law.  So, my purpose in writing to you is not to tell you how to do anything "right", but to offer some tidbits of encouragement and probably reminders of things you already know or have thought of as you've prepared for marriage.

Today's note is about how the world portrays men these days, especially on tv sitcoms and tv commercials.  They are often presented as ignorant, unkempt, unaware, mute, uncaring, and unconcerned.  The women usually alongside the men in these examples are portrayed as put together, of superior intelligence, handy, capable of ruling a dolt of a man, and frankly rude to her husband (if they're even married).  Respect is lacking.

We're bombarded by messages such as these throughout any given day.

Sometimes, it can be easy to see this as the way life is in the world of men and women, husbands and wives.  Don't go for that.  Aim high in your thoughts and your mouth and actions will follow.

Aim as high as what God says about you in relationship to your husband and you'll be counter to the culture that would like to persuade you to demean your husband, mock him, and embarrass him no matter what when you are with others or by yourselves.

You already respect Robert.  I've seen that for seven years while you were dating.  Keep up the good work.

I love you,
Amy